The Collected Writings of Ambrose BierceBook - 1974
From the critics
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Rational- Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience, and reflection.
Preference- A sentiment or state of mind induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another.
Philosopher- A philosopher said “Life is no better than death. Death is no worse than life” His student asked if that was the case then why was he still living. The philosopher replied. “Death is longer”
Reason-To weigh probabilities on the scale of desire.
Self esteem- An erroneous appraisment.
Self evident- Evident only to one's self and no one else.
Selfish- Devoid of consideration of the selfishness of others.
Truth- An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.
Year- A period of three hundred and sixty five disappointments.
Impartial- Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy by adopting either of two conflicting opinions.
Inexpedient- Not calculated to advance ones own interests.
Labor- One of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
Learning- The kind of ignorance that distinguishes the studious.
Life- We live in daily appreciation of its loss, yet when lost it is not missed.
Misfortune- The kind of fortune that never misses.
Enough- All there is in the world of something, if you like it.
Neighbor- One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.
Opportunity- A favorable occasion for grasping disappointment.
Patience- A minor form of despair disguised as a virtue.
Positive- To be mistaken at the top of ones lungs.
Absurdity- A statement of belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
Christian- One who believes the New Testament is a divinely inspired book, admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
Corporation- An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
Abnormal- Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested.
Faith- Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge about things without parallel.
Cynic- A black guard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
Future- That time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true, and our happiness is assured.
Hope- Desire and expectation rolled into one.
Hypocrite- One who professing virtues he does not respect, secures the advantages of seeming to be what he despises.
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