Machete

Machete

DVD - 2010
Average Rating:
34
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MPAA rating: R; for strong bloody violence throughout, language, some sexual content and nudity.
Set up, double-crossed and left for dead, Machete is an ass-kicking ex-Federale who lays waste to anything that gets in his path. As he takes on hitmen, vigilantes and a ruthless drug cartel, bullets fly, blades clash and the body count rises. Any way you slice it, vengeance has a new name: Machete. Based on the fake trailer Rodriguez made for inclusion in the movie Grindhouse.

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t
tailz
Apr 22, 2014

Don't take this movie seriously and you will thoroughly enjoy it.
:)

JCLJakeE Apr 10, 2014

Cast includes the Mojo Priest. Can't say much about the film, but here's to wishing Steven Seagal a happy 62nd birthday!

lcrayton2477 Feb 17, 2014

Is this a joke/parody? All star cast with terrible acting , directing, you name it, its horrible. But its like the jerry springer show or a bad accident, you cant look away. Its so bad but funny at the same time.

Bearddis Feb 07, 2014

This movie is absolutely incredible. If the purpose of this film isn't clear to you from the very beginning you might just want to walk away because it's obviously not for you. That being said, everything this movie sets out to achieve it does with great aplomb. The one liners are ludicrous and hilarious, the action is over the top of over the top, it hits every note perfectly. This movie sets out to be as ridiculous as possible and it hits the mark every time.

j
jimg2000
Oct 10, 2013

Plays like Rambo and Arnold on steroids. Super choreography in blade and gun battles. Love those political satirical dialogues (see quote).

m
Monolith
Aug 24, 2013

Testosterone fueled, action packed 'shoot 'em up'. This movie is not for the faint-hearted or the squeamish. Robert Rodriguez (Grindhouse, Sin City) doesn't disappoint with this one. Tough guy Danny Trejo is perfectly cast as Machete, and I've gotta add he does pretty darn well for 67 years old. Terrific supporting cast too. This film is hilarious, raw, and sexy and I absolutely loved it. And obviously, it's not everyone's cup of tea. (See below) Worked for me! FIVE STARS.

f
Fuzzy_Wuzzy
Oct 15, 2012

If nothing else, Steven Seagal's laughable-looking hairpiece was an absolute scream! In my opinion, this was the comedy highlight that this dreadfully dreary picture so desperately needed._____ You know, it sure seems to me that for director Robert Rodriguez, women only come in one generic flavor. And that is the flavor of a "boy-toy" slut._____Whether she's a highly-successful immigration officer, or a street-level Taco-Momma/Secret Agent, or whatever, Rodriguez brands all of his women (as he did so in Sin City and Planet Terror) as nothing but boy-toy sluts, through and through._____ And, of course, all of Rodriguez' boy-toy sluts are knock-out beauties. (Natch) But, regardless of that, just keep in mind that beauty may be only skin deep, but being a boy-toy slut goes right to the bone._____ Besides having a mighty low opinion of women, it would also seem that Rodriguez doesn't look too favorably upon the USA, either._____ Here in Machete, Rodriguez clearly points an accusing finger at America by turning this insignificant film into a heavy-handed politcal statement where he puts full blame on the US for being the #1 reason why Mexico's present state of crime, corruption, and grave destitution is literally way out of control._____ And, last, but not least, casting that greasy, old fart, Danny Trejo (Rodriguez' cousin) as the title character was a stroke of pure stupidity. It really killed me the way that this doddery, old fool was presented as being some sort of a bad-ass/stud-muffin where all of the hot babes were just dying to get him into bed. (Ha! Ha! Ha!)._____ All-in-all, Machete, with its excessive racism, cruelty, and sadistic violence, was a poorly-executed production._____ In my opinion, Rodriguez' Machete sucked, big time._____ Yep. Enough said.

n
neonkc
Jun 30, 2012

la corrupcion en mexico con los cuerpos federales muy buena pelicula

aaa5756 May 25, 2012

This movie was entertaining and interesting but not one of my favorite for this year. “Not too bad---good performance”. "I fast forwarded a lot but not all the way.”

seki May 21, 2012

D---n, Oh My. Did he just do that? Did she just do that? It is a heck ride. Pure heck ride.

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Quotes

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j
jimg2000
Oct 10, 2013

I say "why change"? This is a great state founded on the principles of liberty, I don't wanna change that. Our rightful citizens are hardworking Americans who earn their paychecks by the grit of their guts and the sweat of their brow! I don't wanna change that! "Change," that's what they want, change. Change the laws, open the doors. Red rover, red rover, let the terrorists come over! Let me tell you what change that'll bring: 68 cents. The jingle-jangle of pennies in your pocket because the scavengers, the leeches, the parasites are walking away with your money, while you're left with the change. So, I wanna say one more thing: who you gonna vote for?

j
jimg2000
Oct 10, 2013

Senator McLaughlin: Well, I wanna thank y'all for coming out today, and I wanna thank my supporters from the bottom of my heart. Because we have been tested - tested by fire. Our border has been put to the test, and let me tell you: we have failed that test. The aliens, the infiltrators, the outsiders, they come right across by light of day or dark of night. They'll bleed us, they're parasites. They'll bleed us until we as a city, a county, a state, a nation are all bled out. Make no mistake: we are at war. Every time an illegal dances across our border it is an act of aggression against this sovereign state, an overt act of terrorism. Everywhere I go in this state people are talking about change.

j
jimg2000
Oct 10, 2013

Sartana: Yes, I am a woman of the law. And there are lots of laws. But if they don't offer us justice, then they aren't laws! They are just lines drawn in the sand by men who would stand on your back for power and glory.

Sartana: I called in a few favors. Look at this. Got you all the right papers. You can start over now, be a real person.

Machete: [hands back the papers] Why do I want to be a real person when I'm already a myth?

aaa5756 Mar 21, 2013

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” ― Martin Luther King, Jr

b
bdls206
May 12, 2011

Sartana: We didn't cross the border; the border crossed us!

b
bdls206
May 12, 2011

April Booth: Do you even know how many hits I get on my website?
Booth: You have a website? She has a website? Did you know about this?
April Booth: I know all about what the online public wants. And they want me. All of me.
Booth: That does it. I'm sending you to a convent.

b
bdls206
May 12, 2011

Booth: Machete sent me a text.
Osiris Ampanpour: What did it say?
Booth: "You just f**ked with the wrong Mexican."

b
bdls206
May 12, 2011

Machete: Machete don't text.

Notices

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s
SEBoiko
Jan 23, 2014

Frightening or Intense Scenes: plenty blood, guts and,people being chopped up.

s
SEBoiko
Jan 23, 2014

Sexual Content: female nudity

f
Fuzzy_Wuzzy
Oct 15, 2012

Coarse Language: Would you be at all surprised if I told you that profanity prevails in this picture?

f
Fuzzy_Wuzzy
Oct 15, 2012

Violence: There's non-stop gore, and blood, and multiple-deaths everywhere you look.

b
bdls206
May 12, 2011

Violence: This title contains Violence.

b
bdls206
May 12, 2011

Coarse Language: This title contains Coarse Language.

b
bdls206
May 12, 2011

Sexual Content: This title contains Sexual Content.

Age

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l
luie1996
Apr 02, 2013

luie1996 thinks this title is suitable for 17 years and over

b
Boobychuk
Oct 25, 2011

Boobychuk thinks this title is suitable for 16 years and over

r
RichardPaul
Jun 24, 2011

RichardPaul thinks this title is suitable for 18 years and over

b
bdls206
May 12, 2011

bdls206 thinks this title is suitable for 17 years and over

Summary

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b
bdls206
May 12, 2011

After being set-up and betrayed by the man who hired him to assassinate a Texas Senator, an ex-Federale launches a brutal rampage of revenge against his former boss.

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